DAMN, that shit is WACK!

Good evening and welcome to Blogtown, population: me.

As you may have noticed, the world is in an uproar:
A great hero of our time, Steve Irwin, lies dead from a stingray barb to the chest; the new Facebook mini-feed has robbed us both of our privacy/dignity/integrity (that we in NO WAY compromised by signing up for Facebook in the first place), as well as the many glorious hours of stalking that previously kept us useless postgrads entertained for hours, and granted the gift of procrastination to all you currently enrolled.

What IS this shit? Ok, I mean, perhaps these are not matters of the most pressing global importance. I'm pretty sure when the ol' croc hunter finally retired to that big reptile-wrestling ring in the sky, the united nations didnt hold an emergency session. But you're not exactly sitting around watching CNN right now are you? Irwin's down-under antics are about as close as most of us are ever gonna get to international relations, so shut your pie hole. As far as our sad little world is concerned, things are severely out of balance; our chi is off, the planets are misaligned, and saturn is the eighth house of OhFuckMe. (dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria).

But in this time of trial, I offer unto you, my dear friends, a little wisdom that I picked up from the complimentary Frank Thomas bobblehead doll I received at tonight's Oakland A's game. I'm pretty confident it addresses the issue at hand:

ATTENTION!
HEAD-SIZE-TO-BODY-SIZE RATIO ON BOBBLEHEAD IS NOT TO SCALE
If it were, Frank Thomas' real head would be four feet tall and weigh 260 pounds.

Alright. Well, I guess that clears that up.

Soooo, in conclusion, although you may feel saddened, depressed, or discouraged by all the tragedy that has recently befallen the world, just remember...um...dont let it go to your head? keep on bobblin'? ooh ooh i know! dont blow it out of proportion!

...right. Class dismissed.



Now if you'll excuse me, I have a life size model of Frank Thomas that needs some adjusting...