Good afternoon and I'm moving to DC. In the process of selling all my belongings on Craigslist, I have received dozens of emails from strangers, from which I have distilled the following simple rules to help you successfully reply to your next Craigslist post. Without further ado:
How to respond to a Craigslist post:
1) Read only the first line before hitting reply.
2) Disregard petty details. If the post says "delivery to Jersey City only," for example, you may respond with "Would you consider the UES?" or "Will you deliver it to my office in Yonkers?"
3) Assume the seller is both male and a douchebag. Forgo formal salutations like "Hello," and address your email simply to "Bro,"
4) Explain how broke you are, bro, and how your old version of whatever you'd like to buy is totally shot, so like, they should sell you this one for $100 less than the asking price.
5) Hit send. Congratulations! You have successfully replied to a Craigslist post. You are now ready to move on to step 6.
6) Go fuck yourself.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
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