It's no secret that I don't particularly care for children. Not my thing. But I'm currently in a cafe with two adorable men, who happen to have their toddlers with them, and I must say that there's a few things about these kids that tug at my frosty heart.
1) I love the way kids wave at other kids that they don't know at all. The British dad just pushed his baby girl outside in a stroller. On the way out, British baby waved at American dad's toddler, who promptly toddled to the door after her and attempted to smack it open. As an adult who frequently pretends not to see acquaintances on the street to avoid conversation, this social instinct fascinates me.
2) Lovelorn, having lost his new best friend, American toddler decides to console himself with a pastry. No judgment, we all do it. Except we understand how a capitalist economy works (Let's Review! Supply. Demand. Adam Smith. John Locke.), while this kid knows only that he wants a pastry and that pastries are inside the glass case. So while dad is distracted with his sister, he keeps toddling behind the counter and trying to open the case to retrieve said pastry. Inevitably, he gets caught and carried back to the table, gurgling frustratedly, which breaks my heart because while I don't much enjoy children's company, nothing stirs my sympathy more than the desire for a pastry you can't have. (Especially for a kid who keeps getting so close before being thwarted by dad - just wait til he's a teenager.)
3) This is not so much something I admire about kids as something I am jealous of: On the way out, thwarted toddler breaks into a rousing chorus of twinkle, twinkle little star. Kids can sing any time they want with no understanding that it might be weird, and that's awesome. I definitely recall my infant cousin busting out Frosty the Snowman during my First Communion with a special shout out to Ronald McDonald, who I believe he thought was the priest. Here's a reentactment:
Being only about 8 years old myself, I probably would have much preferred the sacred body of the Hamburgler over the papery host wafer I received, which from a taste standpoint seemed extremely overrated. (Fortunately there was cross-shaped cake afterward and my faith was restored.) But to a child, what time is NOT the time for twinkle twinkle little star? What kind of fascists would live in a world like that?
Oh shit, I just realized I'm going to get kicked out of this café in 40 minutes and i just spent 10 minutes writing this when I was supposed to be working on a script. God damn kids are so distracting.
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