New!!... and Economically Unimproved

Good evening and we're back; thanks for sticking with us through that year and a half-long commercial break where I was occasionally employed and thus could actually afford to do things other than sit at my aging and decrepit PC. i didnt mean it im sorry pleasedontbreakpleasedontbreakpleasedontbreak.

Yes, dry your eyes my cubicle-bound friend, for I am back on job hunt and here to relieve your oh-my-god-its-only-11:07am boredom attack. I know you missed me and I'm sorry. I missed you too. It was wrong of me to leave you like that, leave you for a social life brought on by work that actually generated income. I should've listened, but the joke was on me--after all this time, here I am again with you. And now I'd like to welcome the deep-voiced guy from BoyzIIMen to the stage for the heartfelt, repentant, and obligatory mid-song spoken-word plea for forgiveness...

Baby, I'm sorry
I never should have done you wrong.
If you just give me one more chance, I swear
I will never leave you for another day of real work
practice of another hobby
or another drink with a friend
i can't afford those things anymore now that I'm unemployed again anyway.

Aside from the obvious and numerous transitions in and out of employment, alot of other shit has gone down in the past year, first and foremost that I've moved out of my parents basement. GASP OF SHOCK AND AWE, i know, but don't fear, I've still got plenty to complain about -- I moved to New Jersey. The reacclimatization to sunlight wasn't easy but fortunately Jersey's thick smog cover has allowed me to adapt my subterranean powers for use above ground. My eyes are still a little oversized and lamplike, but I think I've adjusted fairly well, in that I'm just as thoroughly bored and jaded as ever before.

In fact, I'd just love to hang around and fill you in on all the intricate details of this vibrant paradise I'm currently occupying, but I was just reading a PUMA T-shirt tag that I found on my floor, and I've discovered in what must be their new corporate tagline a shockingly relevant statement that echoes my own sentiments at this exact point in time:

Start Tomorrow.