$2? Fo realz? I thought. That's a pretty fucking good coupon. Usually coupons are for 75 cents off baby wipes or buy one get one generic oatmeal. This is a coupon I could really use! I peeled back the label as instructed, taking in the slow striptease as the bar code coyly revealed itself, all the while thinking "COUPON!" Pursing my minty, moisturized lips together, I gently tore along the perforated line and ripped the fucking thing right in half.
Well, really more like 1/4 - 3/4.I shouted a variety of obscenities so colorful that I'm surprised they didn't come out as a flock of tropical birds. Ask Jesse, he was on the phone at the time. Regardless, I just shredded my coupon and with it, my dreams of slathering my scaly winter arms with a creamy, heaven-scented tub of Burt's Bees Body Butter (uhhhhnnnnmm, it gets better with each B...)
In conclusion, Seriously?! COME ON!!!
